Make up his mind for him. If a guy is being super indecisive, then make the decision for him. Refrain from swearing or insulting him, even if he totally deserves it. Try to remain as mature and level-headed as possible. Maintain distance after the talk. Remember there are plenty of fish in the sea. There are tons of guys who will not only pique your interest and make you drool but will have no problem committing to you.
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Alexandra Sakellariou Alexandra is a freelance writer in Montreal, Quebec. She enjoys shopping as a sport, Buffy the Vampire Slayer re-runs, and being a plant mom. By Amy Horton. Let's say your partner is glued to their phone at all times, and refuses to put it away, even when you are trying get their attention regarding something important. It's necessary to get the message across to them that their behavior is not OK with you, and that having their undivided attention at certain times is important to you.
Instead of formulating your ultimatum as a threat to your partner, get to the route of the problem: What is bothering you, and why? How does it make you feel? Setting boundaries can be a vulnerable conversation, since it's all about telling the other person how you feel and what it is they do that upsets you.
Dabney says. There's always "gray areas" in relationships, and when things aren't clearly stated, it can be difficult to tell or to know if you are upsetting your partner with your words or actions.
When it comes to confronting your partner about contacting their ex, for example, Huang suggests saying, "I am not OK with you flirting or calling your ex. I feel that we've talked about this many times. By explaining to your partner how their actions make you feel, you can address the situation from a place of genuine concern, as opposed to anger and resentment. Remember, when you're giving an ultimatum for your partner, you can't control how they will react and if anything will change.
Instead, remind yourself that this ultimatum is for you — knowing your worth, how you should be treated, and what you deserve out of a relationship. According to Koenig, an example of a self-care ultimatum could be something as simple as coming to a compromise on your screen time. But when one person is ready to get engaged , it doesn't always mean that the other person is on the same timeline. In fact, many couples find that one partner is ready to take the next step long before the other.
That begs the question: What are you supposed to do next? While relationship experts don't champion giving your partner an ultimatum—which can actually make the receiver feel cornered, powerless, and vulnerable—they do agree that stating your case, or else setting boundaries around where you can no longer go forward in the relationship, can help each partner have a mutual understanding of the goals as a couple and as individuals.
Instead, express your feelings in a way that's inclusive of your partner's, communicating that you want to know the reason behind his feelings and not shut them out. Making your intentions firm—and stating your case in a non-threatening way—can benefit your relationship. When you start having discussions about marriage, you may find there are difficult reasons why your partner partner is hesitating to popping the question.
For example, some men wait to propose until they feel they can financially support their partners, says Osborn. Admitting they aren't ready for marriage is admitting they aren't at a point they feel content in their careers. Hearing these reasons can put your mind at ease that marriage is on the agenda and it can give you the opportunity to communicate your thoughts on the topic as well, which sets the path for compromise.
Or, perhaps your partner is hesitant to get married because his parents' marriage failed, and he's afraid the same will happen in his relationship.
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